We each have a unique story to tell. Our authentic story, lived out in a real way, gives us tremendous influence to make a lasting impact on others.
Think about this for a moment.
As individuals, God has equipped each of us with a unique mix of skills & abilities, a distinctive personality & behavior, and certain passions & desires. These things have been given to us as a “tool belt” by God to use in this life. Our “tool belt” equips us with the tools necessary to accomplish our purpose in life. In addition, the “experiences” we encounter also give us a very unique perspective in order to share our stories with others. The good, bad and even ugly experiences in our life come together to help shape our authentic story.
Romans 8:28 and Ephesians 2:10 from the bible remind us that God works for good in all things for those who love him, and also that we have been created in Christ Jesus long ago for His purposes to do good works.
By sharing our authentic story or “experiences”, as well as the wisdom learned from them, we find a valuable way to influence, inspire, develop and serve others.
Our “tool belt” and “experiences” come together to shape who and what we are under Christ. In fact, we really are a mix of these elements; it is the combination of these items that shape our authentic story. The trick is to understand these things in an intimate and vulnerable manner. This is what it means to be Self-Aware. Self-Awareness, or the understanding of one’s self to an intimate and vulnerable extent, is the beginning to authentic, influential leadership.
As a young professional growing up, many times I tried to mimic others whom I perceived to be successful in life or business. I found that while this process revealed a wonderful amount of insight and knowledge, I always seemed out of place. Often times I found this was a mistake, I would end up mimicking something that I was not. I felt like I was constantly trying on clothes that did not fit quite right.
What resulted was a realization that I needed to spend time focusing my efforts on understanding “Who I Was”; this included an intimate understanding of my “tool belt” and what my life “experiences” meant.
God has created each of us to be unique. When we try to act as how we see others, the result will not be authentic. In fact, when your leadership is perceived as unauthentic, the results will not build trust, nor will it provide meaning and purpose for your life.
There are two important concepts which are vital for leaders to understand: (1) Unauthentic leadership does not last, and (2) Self-awareness is the beginning for discovering authentic leadership.
Authenticity is a key trait for developing as an influential leader. Now, as a higher education administrator, and someone who spends a great deal of time with college students, I intentionally encourage others to discover and understand who they are.
Taking time to discover your “tool belt” and “experiences before God will lead to a greater understanding of “Who you Are”. Furthermore, this will lead you to help discover what your purpose in life is, which is tied to your authentic and unique story that you can share with others.
One of the reasons for building this website and blog was to encourage others to discover their “tool belt” as well as what life “experiences” make up who they are. When we use our “tool belt” and “experiences” in the way they are intended, God will use our life in a tremendous way to influence others and for making a lasting impact.
I would like to invite you to take check out our page: Finding Purpose
This page offers a variety of different assessments which have been put together to aide you in discovering your “tool belt”. Complete these assessments and then record your personal results from each of them. Additionally, I suggest taking time to map out the major experiences encountered in your life. These are all breadcrumbs from God which can assist you to discovering your purpose in life.
We each have an authentic story to tell, what’s yours?
There is one particular scene from Mel Gibson’s 2002 movie, We Were Soldiers, that has an important truth for us as leaders, especially for those who lead or work alongside the millennial (those born between 1980-2005).
Mel Gibson plays Army Lt. Colonel Hal Moore, who commands the 7th Calvary during the Vietnam War. This particular unit was responsible for blitzing the enemy by transporting soldiers via helicopter right onto right onto the most dangerous front-line battlefields. The Army 7th Calvary was known for its aggressive and very dangerous strategies during the Vietnam War. This particular unit would be consistently led onto what could be called the “depths of hell” during the Vietnam War.
The following video is a powerful speech by Lt. Colonel Hal Moore right before they leave for Vietnam. Knowing full well that his troops would be landing under fire, and that casualties would be expected, Army Lt. Colonel Hal takes a unique approach to motivating and embodying trust for his men.
Take a moment to watch this video here: Lt. Colonel Hal Moore’s Speech (or click on the image below):
“I will be the first person to set foot on the field, and I will be the last to step off, and I will leave no one behind …”
Imagine as an employee that your leader embodied this value. “We are going to do this work together.” The “I’ve got your back” mentality displays the high levels of trust and admiration between the leader and the employee. In their book The Leadership Challenge, Kouzes and Posner describe this trait of leadership as “Modeling the Way”.
“Modeling the Way” establishes principles concerning the way people should be treated and the way goals should be pursued. They create standards of excellence and then set an example for others to follow.
Particularly for the millennial workforce, this approach to leadership resonates very strongly. From my years of working with and hiring the millennial generation, I have noticed they want to “do work together”. The millennial wants the relationship connection, they want to be mentored, and they value work that has variety, as well as opportunities for personal growth. Compensation, while important for the millennial, does not hold the same weight as it did for their parents.
Through relationships that “Model the Way”, we can “pull along” the millennial to develop professionally. Additionally, we can also come alongside the millennial to fill their needs for connecting and feeling valued. I have seen the results of this kind of leadership which has a profound effect on the millennial, as well as on their contribution to the organization. In fact, as a millennial myself, I can attest to the positive example that this type of leadership engenders.
As the millennial continues to enter the workforce, let’s embody an approach to leadership that “Models the Way”. Let’s come alongside our colleagues and say, “I’ve got your back, let’s do this together … And I will never leave you behind.”
In the words of Mel Gibson, “Let’s Do War, Together.”
(p.s. Thanks to Eric Bruntmyer who initially shared this story with me, it still has meaning all of these years later).
In our lives we have been told to focus on externals. By externals, I mean anything outside of your body, ie: Money, Possessions, Power, Accomplishment, aka. Stuff.
The problem with externals is that they will never bring you happiness, meaning or purpose. For generations psychologists, philosophers and religious leaders have all been “preaching” the same thing (pun intended). There is no-doubt that by focusing on externals, we will never find meaning.
You are therefore are left with a choice, we can either (1) choose to ignore these warnings and focus on STUFF, or (2) choose to REVERSE YOUR THINKING and focus on something else. The only thing left besides the external is the internal. We can look inward to find purpose, meaning and happiness.
Recently, we listed a quote of the week from Laura Goodrich, “You get more of whatever you focus on”.
This quote is a helpful reminder for us that whatever we dwell on, chase after, or achieve for, is usually what we get. Whatever we focus on affects our attitude, behavior, lifestyle and relationships with others. When we focus on negative consequences, we tend to think in a negative context. When we focus on externals, we become driven by them and are often devastated when they either do not materialize, or are left with a void after their limited gratification wears off.
This quote also has application when looking at your Purpose in Life.
In the years prior to my graduation from College, I preoccupied myself with finding a good job. The great majority of my efforts were focused externally on one thing, a great job upon graduation. I focused so heavily on this one thing, I eventually drove myself sick trying to land the perfect job. In the end I was utterly confused about my career path.
It was not until I focused on my internal self; through an intimate, self-awareness journey to learn what my God-given skills & abilities were, my personality and behavior, and my passions and desires, did I begin to understand how and what I was made for. I began to understand my Purpose in Life.
I reversed my thinking by not focusing on the job, but focusing on who I was and what came naturally to me. I then would find vocations that fit these areas of my life.
Focusing on me resulted in receiving a great job offer upon my graduation as a by-product of my understanding of whom and what I was. Focusing on my Purpose in Life made the job process an authentic and natural extension of who I was. I reversed my thinking by not focusing on the job, but focusing on who I was and what came naturally to me. I then would find vocations that fit these areas of my life.
As another example, the bible tells us that our focus should be on Christ. Matthew 6:33 says to seek first the Kingdom of Heaven and His Righteousness, and all else shall be added. Understanding that “We tend to get what we focus on”. We are to develop a reliance on Christ and relentlessly pursue Him. By doing this, all else in a fulfilled life and a life of purpose will be added. Christ is not only vertically above us, but as a Christian, he also lives inside of us through the Holy Spirit.
We need to change our focus. We need to reverse our thinking.
What does shoe shopping have to do with finding purpose? Well, I’m glad you asked. Let’s start by picturing yourself in a large shoe store, very similar to the store shown below:
There are rows and rows of shoes with different colors, sizes, shapes and materials. As you peruse through the rows of shoes, you begin to see certain styles and colors that appeal to you. Selecting a few different shoe styles, you begin to try them on, one by one, to see which fits most comfortably. You begin asking yourself, which shoes look the best on you, and which shoes best fit the purpose and reason for their purchase?
Finding purpose, is a lot like shoe shopping.
As we described earlier in this site, Purpose is a deep rooted set of values in which you believe that what you are doing is worthwhile and will have a positive and beneficial impact on others and society. Purpose in Life is the foundation in which all else of a fulfilled life and impactful career is derived. People that have a greater sense of purpose in their lives, resulting from a heightened level of self-awareness, tend to perform to greater extents than their counterparts and are more fulfilled and happy in their lives. Purpose in Life begins from a very intimate, vulnerable understanding on one’s self, including one’s skills & abilities, personality & behavior, passions & desires, as well as a willing and prayerful heart for God’s direction.
From my years of working with college students and in higher education administration, I have found everyone’s process to find purpose is very different. However, I have noticed a particular trend that involves focusing on these areas: (1) skills & abilities, (2) personality & behavior, (3) passions & desires, (4) a willing and prayerful heart for God’s direction.
No one, apart from God, can find your own purpose in life. It is up to the individual to start their journey to see what skills & abilities, personality & behavior, passions & desires they have, and then begin to see what shoe fits. All we can do is take others to the shoe store, provide advice based on our own experiences, and point them in the right direction. The size, style and color is up to the wearer.
If you decide to take this journey, you will encounter some very hard and sometimes scary truths about yourself. However, it is in those moments of vulnerable self-awareness that you can understand what experiences (both good and bad) that have shaped you overtime. I encourage you to map out your skills & abilities, understand your personality & behavior, and cultivate your passions & desires — then bring this all back to God and ask Him what He wants you to do with it.
The bible tells us in 1 John 5:14-15 that if we have confidence to ask in His name and in His will, our Lord will answer us.
I encourage you to begin the journey to understand purpose, you need to start to mediate and “unpack” these areas about yourself.
It’s time to go shoe shopping!
I have spent the last few years pondering the purpose for Higher Education, specifically the reason for the University. I have considered this reason and can find no better definition than by citing Colombia Professor Andrew Delbanco’s purpose for the university; a place where students are shown how to think and how to choose.
I believe the setting for the American university must be a place where challenging discussions are encouraged, where critical ideas presented and new experiences relating to knowledge are passed onto students. An important component to encourage this kind of environment should be academic freedom — the freedom for discussion, the freedom in teaching and also in research, all in the pursuit of truth.
We must encourage our young students to engage in critical discussion, self-exploration and other measures in order for them to independently learn how to think and how to choose. What better place for this discussion to take place than at the University.
I have come to believe that all pursuits for truth will ultimately lead to one final destination, the understanding that all wisdom is inherently derived from the one true God, who by the grace of Jesus Christ, can we fully have a relationship and understand our purpose in life. I strongly believe that the encouragement for academic freedom also encourages faith in God, rather than refute His existence. Therefore, I consider academic freedom, guided with a belief in the one true, living God and of Jesus Christ, to be of critical importance to that of the university.
I believe that higher education will loose a powerful transformative component if it is not linked to that of Christian perspective. Furthermore, students who are discouraged away from the ideas of faith and the search for purpose, which can only be found through Christ, are lacking a massive piece of their education.
I am reminded of the quote, “Wisdom in knowledge, rightly applied”. You may attain a tremendous amount of knowledge at the University, but what sense does that knowledge have if it is not rightly applied through an understanding that all knowledge ultimately comes from and is used in service of God.
How happy is the man who does not follow the advice of the wicked or take the path of sinners or join a group of mockers! Instead, his delight is in the Lord’s instruction, and he meditates on it day and night. He is like a tree planted beside streams of water that bears its fruits in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. Psalms 1:1-3
This is a strong tree with roots that dig deep into the ground. It is filled with never ending streams of water as it is planted next to a lake. This trees’ leaves and branches extend powerfully in many directions, giving shade and shelter to the plants and animals that surround it. This tree is alive, it prospers and bears much fruit.
An abundant life can be found in the word of God. Just as the strong and beautiful tree here, which is planted next to streams of water, we too can prosper and not wither if we are firmly planted next to the streams of life, which is found in the Bible.
Just as the tree in the desert, far away from water, without the word of God, we too will wither and die.
Which tree do you want to be?
Let’s focus our hearts and minds onto His word. Just as the tree planted by streams of water, we can trust in His plans to prosper and grow us strong.